Letter from Emil to Shirley, 1975
5/8/75 (03:30)
Dear Wife,
My mother died today. I don’t understand why, but I am terribly conscious of loving you and not being with you. I am so very aware of both my father and mother being dead and longing to be with you again, to touch you and to hold you.
Interruption – you called! I love you all over and when I get home I am going to kiss you until your ears fly off!!
I was amazed at your parent’s concern about any display of emotion - not only on my part - but any other sympathizer as well. So we won’t tell anyone else that my mother is dead. Your father showed me his office as planned, we went to buy tapes as planned, records and when we got home I looked over their Hi-Fi, they were having trouble with it and played a record or two - went to Stratford, had dinner, saw Shakespeare – I drove – the country is so very serene - all of it was like a funeral – my mother is dead. Aid records, Hi-Fi, dinner, small talk and Shakespeare, I buried my mother.
Again you cried for me. Hearing you cry made me cry with you and not alone. I can’t remember anyone ever crying for me and with me. Only you know how I grieve – it’s not for my mother, she was an old lady and her time had come. I stood by her bed and just talked to her. I told her how happy I was, how good living is, I really and fully realized how not alone I am anymore. I told her all that and as I talked to her I realized how terribly alone I have been all my conscious life and how different my life is since I am with you. I watched the pulse monitor and every once in a while it went unstable – indicating (to me) that she was hearing me, and knew I was with her. I want to believe that she knew that I am no longer alone.
Dear wife, you are the love of my life, the beginning and end, complete without reservations.
Tomorrow I’ll try to find a Minyan and if not I’ll say Kadish by myself.
My mother died today. I don’t understand why, but I am terribly conscious of loving you and not being with you. I am so very aware of both my father and mother being dead and longing to be with you again, to touch you and to hold you.
Interruption – you called! I love you all over and when I get home I am going to kiss you until your ears fly off!!
I was amazed at your parent’s concern about any display of emotion - not only on my part - but any other sympathizer as well. So we won’t tell anyone else that my mother is dead. Your father showed me his office as planned, we went to buy tapes as planned, records and when we got home I looked over their Hi-Fi, they were having trouble with it and played a record or two - went to Stratford, had dinner, saw Shakespeare – I drove – the country is so very serene - all of it was like a funeral – my mother is dead. Aid records, Hi-Fi, dinner, small talk and Shakespeare, I buried my mother.
Again you cried for me. Hearing you cry made me cry with you and not alone. I can’t remember anyone ever crying for me and with me. Only you know how I grieve – it’s not for my mother, she was an old lady and her time had come. I stood by her bed and just talked to her. I told her how happy I was, how good living is, I really and fully realized how not alone I am anymore. I told her all that and as I talked to her I realized how terribly alone I have been all my conscious life and how different my life is since I am with you. I watched the pulse monitor and every once in a while it went unstable – indicating (to me) that she was hearing me, and knew I was with her. I want to believe that she knew that I am no longer alone.
Dear wife, you are the love of my life, the beginning and end, complete without reservations.
Tomorrow I’ll try to find a Minyan and if not I’ll say Kadish by myself.
I love you Shirley,
Emil
Emil
posted by Mike @ 4:31 PM
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